The Near Death Hiccup

My hot cowboy is thrilled!!!!

When we got Lulabell my husband wasn’t amused. He has endless chores outside to do already with his job. Plus sometimes over the years he’s taken care of our chores like feeding baby goats or taking care of my inside poochies. Naturally adding a milk cow to him meant yay I’m going to have to milk the cow.

The Promise

When we got Lulabell I told him I will milk her. Now that would’ve been great and awesome if she wasn’t a cow. I suppose what I had in mind was a fairy tale. I imagined putting a halter on my cow and giving her some oats. I envisioned her standing still until I was done getting all my money saving juice into a bowl and then kindly thanking her for her cooperation as I let her go back to her business.

Now things haven’t quite worked out that way because after all she is a cow. Despite her being a cow and all, my son and I were still bound and determined one night to keep our promise to Dad and get her milked by ourselves.

To set the scene it was pouring rain outside. It was also quickly getting dark. The day before Dad had got on a horse to get Lullabell to respect him. He encouraged her and her calf to get into the barn or ol’ horse was going to make her get in. We thought we would do the same thing. My son decided to saddle up Mr. Oreo. Now Oreo is not a horse. He is a pony. He can be really stubborn after a while. Unless Dad is on him he is less than willing to listen to us and what the kids call a pain.

The Pony Helps Us

Anyways we got on Oreo and started our move to the barn. We started by trying to sort off Lullabell and her calf. We pushed the cows out of the first corral only to have them all run back. Back and forth, back and forth we went until at last AFTER 20 MINUTES we got the calf and her sorted off. Ok now for the next job. We led her closer to the barn as we closed the gates behind her. That would’ve been well and awesome except SHE KEPT GOING OUT OPEN GATES that we didn’t know how to shut.

At this point Quort and I were taking turns on Oreo trying to get him to do what we want. Yes, I know the picture of me on a short Pony that won’t listen to what I say is extremely amusing. He was actually doing pretty good at first, but then he kept backing up not wanting to do what I asked him. I really didn’t want to have a full out bronc ride on this pony in the pouring rain so I tied him up.

Please Go In Sweety!

We got some oats and tried to coerce Lullabell that way to come into the barn. It was going awesome at first but she wouldn’t walk over the edge to the barn. Then my son said Mom why don’t we used da da da THE HOT SHOT. Now there’s an idea. That ought to get her movin’. We got her close to the barn and she wouldn’t go any further so with my son and I behind her I hit her with THE HOT SHOT. She kicked at us and did a full 180 mid air and went charging at my son. He nearly escaped death as, this ton of pound cow was meaning business and had blood in her eyes, ran straight at him. Within a couple of seconds he was sure he was going to die as he jumped to the side and with a sliver of a miracle escaped certain death. She got just a little bit of his heel touched by the cow.

After Death the Rest is a Blur

I have no idea how the night went after that other than I begged my son over and over to please help me with the cow. He really didn’t want to. I can’t blame him because after all I did sick my big buddy on him thanks to THE HOT SHOT. We ended up getting Lulabell in and milking her. We were so proud of ourselves. I even let my son stay up until Dad got home so he could explain our success with a “near death hiccup” as my son named it. Dad was less than amused and informed me that you don’t use THE HOT SHOT unless the animals are in a confined alley. That would’ve been nice to know before my child’s life flashed before his eyes.

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